Wednesday, June 18, 2003 - 11:48 p.m.

11:05 p.m. After finally reaching my saturation point of watching reality television programming having no intelligent purpose, meaning or direction nor giving or showing little attention to detail or care of content, from the major networks as well as from MTV, Discovery, A&E, USA, TLC, Food Network, Animal Planet, HGTV, E!, Style, Travel, Court, BET, SoapNet, Oxygen and an array of other cable-lite stations found in the triple digits provided to me by the folks at Adelphia Digital Cable Entertainment, I have decided to create a reality show with content that serves as well as inspires others.

11:07 p.m. I�m thinking my million dollar nugget-of-gold idea would combine the very best of Real Word, Junkyard Wars, Survivor with that special something that made Weakest Link, Manor House and Cops such huge hits.

11:10 p.m. The show would be called "Meet the Maids" or "For Love or Tidy" or perhaps I�d call it "Real Clean." The basic premise of the show would be to have four women from extreme contrasting backgrounds compete for the opportunity to clean my home. To really shake the show up I�d cast a Chicana, a Hispanic, a Mexican and a Latina. To continue the diversity, enriching the distinction between contestants, each would have a drastically different legal residence status.

11:13 p.m. I envisage the four ladies locked in my condo with nothing to do but watch Telemundo novellas and pocket spare change fallen between the couch cushions. However, in addition to orange Fanta I�d also have in plain view a multitude of cleaning whatnots. Before committing to Ajax over Comet I�d have to check with my networks product placement department to see which sponsor is offering a payola package with the most incentive.

11:14 p.m. The fun would surely ensue as the ladies naturally gravitate to the cleaning supplies and the room or appliance of their intended use.

11:15 p.m. The hilarity and drama of perhaps two contestants fighting over the Soft Scrub or bickering of the best way to apply furniture polish (clockwise vs. counterclockwise) or intense debate over Clorox Ready Mop verses Wet-Jet Swiffer Mop verses, get this, traditional old-fashion mop would keep an audience glued to their TV sets.

11:17 p.m. I�m even planning on throwing a curve ball into the mix, and although I�d include my at-home audience, what the maids wouldn�t know is that the one that cleans the best will be invited back in two weeks to clean again with the extra bonus of earning $45 (less any real or perceived damage).

11:22 p.m. I think this type of reality show would soon become appointment television much discussed the day after around the office water cooler. I can actually hear the discussions of how amazed people were to see the various ways to vacuum dog hair and dust bunnies based on the ingenuity of the contestant in the season premier entitled, "Eureka!", the speculation of which maid threw the first fistful of Draino in the episode entitled, "Flushing Away The Competition", or the controversy aroused by the sabotaging of perfectly ironed sheets in the very special episode, "She Maid Me Do It." The seaon finale would be a cliff hanger revealing one of the contestants to be, hence the title, "I'm A Self-Maid Man."

11:26 p.m. First thing in the morning I�m going to write down my idea, register it with the Writers Guild of America, and begin calling production companies to set up pitch meetings. Then, tomorrow night as I�m lying in bed trying to rid my mind of the days annoying road blocks I�ll prioritize my extravagant purchases from my first royalty check.

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