Wednesday, Mar. 19, 2003 - 3:54 p.m.

11:10 a.m. I have a horrible headache and am convinced that my cellular telephone has caused a grapefruit-sized tumor to grow inside my skull.

11:23 a.m. I�m convinced that shortly after it is proven that cellular telephone use is directly linked with brain cancer, and the like, it will only be a short while before the outcry of second-hand cellular radiation commences.

11:41 a.m. I�m convinced that shortly after it�s announced we will have cellular and non-cellular telephone designated eating areas in restaurants.

11:48 a.m. I�m convinced that shortly after the subdivision of restaurant dining areas cellular telephones will be outlawed in airports, grocery stores, malls, bars, office buildings, parks and any and all public places frequented by non-cellular users and small children yet unable to hold a cellular telephone to their ears to talk to daddy or grandma or the nanny at the top of their lungs while I�m trying to relax or have a pleasant conversation while mommy sits and stares in awe at her precious little cherub angel of joy shrieking into the mouthpiece for all to be annoyed by.

11:59 a.m. I just can�t figure out why I can�t get rid of my headache. Hmmm.

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