Thursday, Mar. 13, 2003 - 9:59 a.m.

10:10 a.m. I have no idea as to why Knoxville is out sick today but all I can think of that he had sex last night with someone covered in cheese.

10:15 a.m. Nauseous from the thought I decided to read Kitty Bukkake�s blog. And I though covered in cheese was gross. Now I�m truly nauseous.

2:16 p.m. Having gone home for lunch and apparently fallen asleep from the monotony of switching between, "Surprise by Design" and "People�s Court" I found myself jolted awake from a horrible horrible dream. As far as I can remember I was walking down a long dark alley and then entered a popular nightclub. I checked my shirt at the door, which was the custom, and proceeded to the bar for a Bud longneck. After bragging to everyone around me that I was Jennifer Beals dance double in "Flashdance" as well as Kevin Bacon�s in "Footloose" I was swept away to a velvet-roped area where Alyssa Milano was telling anyone who�d listen that she was Kevin Bacon�s dance double. The hangers-on looked from me to her from her to me from me to her with such speed one young lady had to be treated for whiplash (as best I can remember). They all predicted the worst but I had no idea what that entailed until I found myself performing oral on "Charmed" Alyssa Milano.

2:18 p.m. After my third Listerine rinse and spit I headed to the office to contemplate my dream, its significance and why God was punishing me.

5:15 p.m. Still wondering.

�

previous - next