Contact Garloo
Talk to Garloo
Kitty Bukkake
Standing Room Only
Beulah Bondi
Diaryland
Monday, Nov. 11, 2002 - 5:45 p.m.
11:15 a.m. The Boss comes into my office and seats himself with the finesse of Dom Deluise plopping into his favorite butt-cheek indented Barcalounger while balancing a platter of buffalo chicken wings smothered in blue cheese in one hand and a Hefty bag filled with equal parts M&M�s, Cheetos and sweet pickles in the other all the while trying not to spill his Fanta Orange Big Gulp resting atop his tum tum. I can only image what this mornings lecture will be about.
11:18 a.m. I wait no further as he begins with, "�Harry Potter� is the most wildly demonic movie since �The Wizard of Oz.�" Blah blah blah�"flying monkeys"�yada yada yada�"Mandrake root"...die die die.
12:10 p.m. "Wow, leave it to The Evil One," I respond while popping three extra strength ibuprofen tablets.
2:30 p.m. Walking back to the office after lunch I spy a shiny new quarter teetering on the edge of the curb above the sewer grate. As I happily bend over to retrieve the coin my cell phone falls from my shirt�s breast pocket precisely between the grate slats to tumble down into muck. Note to self: never mock The Evil One.
�