Tuesday, Nov. 5th - 5:54 p.m.

7:04 a.m. It didn�t take me long after boarding the plane, destination Los Angeles, for my mind to begin focusing on the strange and wonderful habits of my fellow passengers. For instance, the gentleman directly in front of me had a peculiar fascination with his own dandruff. How wonderful it was to study his technique of picking at his scalp until he successfully dislodged a scab or crust of dermis to then be scrutinized and examined before flicked away into the aisle.

7:52 a.m. As I ate from my white miniature porcelain dish of cashews with assorted remnants and crumbs of other nuts and drank my diet Sprite I became mesmerized by the woman one aisle up and to my left as I intently watched her use a fingernail on her right hand to transport debris from underneath a fingernail on her left hand to that of the fingernail on her right. She would repeat this stratagem several times before being able to collect the paste on an area of the fingertip whereas it could then be flicked to the floor.

7:55 a.m. I acknowledged my good fortune to be able to witness the cleaning of all ten nails while enjoying a refill of bits of broken cashews.

9:16 p.m. Somewhere in the cabin a passenger was prominently clearing his throat. I tried to locate the emitter of such an engagingly dolorous noise for no other reason than to bestow upon him my admiration. Obviously, a man who has the competency for such a sound and the ingenuity to continually perform it on an airplane deserves all our admiration.

9:58 p.m. Someone or something has really bad gas, again.

10:33 p.m. I was thankful to have landed at LAX. I was thankful to disembark the aircraft. I was thankful I was able to learn from my fellow travelers that there is no need for privacy any longer. That anything done in the privacy of ones own home in the comfort of ones own La-z-boy recliner in the stillness of the dark of night in front of Facts of Life reruns or QVC�s Hummel Hour all the while scratching or picking or rubbing an orifice with the same hand that�s dipping Oscar Meyer boiled ham slices directly into the Best Foods jar can be done on an airplane in front of me whether I appreciate it or not.

11:05 a.m. Destine to remain an outsider in the serenity of my own car I let one rip.

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