Tuesday, Jan. 13, 2004 - 12:19 p.m.

10:31 a.m. "Yes, this is Garloo." "You�re a friend of whose?" "No, can�t do dinner. How about coffee?" "No, I already have plans Wednesday and Thursday night. How �bout coffee?" "Sorry, can�t do Friday either. Can do coffee though." "Coffee, sure, great. I�m looking forward to it too."

10:37 a.m. It�s difficult to actually pinpoint the definitive factor that I most enjoy and appreciate about being single. However, if I�m forced to choose that one item that makes me happier than all the others I�d have to say it�s being able to go on first date after first date after first date with a wide variety of interesting and eligible men. It�s great. Really, really great. I mean, it�s fantastic. How could it not be?

10:40 a.m. What could possibly be more fantastic than sitting across from a total stranger at Starbucks or Coffee Bean or wherever and not only learn about where they were raised and how many brothers and sisters they have and what they majored in at college and how long they�ve been in Los Angeles and what they do for a living and what they�d rather be doing for a living and what they wish they could do for a living and if won the lottery, that they never play, where they would travel to and what kind of volunteer work they would do and how they would help their families and friends who are struggling and on and on and on. It�s truly fantastic.

10:41 a.m. I must admit, I never bore from hearing a first date recount where they lived when they first moved to Los Angeles and then proceed to give me a history of each and every subsequent address. I look forward to them telling me their relationship history complete with each and every detail of their last boyfriends flaws, foibles, shortcomings (wink wink), inadequacies (wink wink wink), peculiarities (wink wink wink wink wink) with venom and obvious lack of any trace of a positive virtue. It�s unbelievably fantastic.

10:45 a.m. I look forward to them chronicle, in vivid descriptive detail, their annals of self discovery leading up to and including transcript of "coming out" to friends and family.

10:46 a.m. I cherish first date conversations that include, "Because my parents are first cousins�" "This is from an infection I got from a piercing," "Sunday will be two weeks sober, knock wood," "Onetime at juvi-camp�" "Actually I was discharged from the Navy cause of depression," "It�s over but we still live together," "Sexually speaking, I�ve never said no to anything."

10:49 a.m. Fan-fuckin-tastic!

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