Wednesday, Oct. 22, 2003 - 4:57 p.m.

3:03 p.m. Having just risen from my post-lunch nap I was resolved to attack my inbox with the fervor of a much younger man hell bent on climbing that proverbial corporate ladder two rungs at a time.

3:06 p.m. Exhausted I decide to fantasize about Dave from MTV�s Road Rules: South Pacific.

3:10 p.m. While looking for something to do that isn�t remotely work related I decide to take a magazine quiz asking, "Are you a crank?"

3:12 p.m. Question 3: Some children are playing kickball in the street. As you watch from the window, the ball rolls into your yard. Your best course of action is to: a. Ignore it; b. Delight in the sweet innocence of children; c. Keep the ball.

3:13 p.m. What kind of inane question is that? It is so ridiculously flawed it is actually impossible to answer. If I�m to understand the question literally then it just doesn�t make any sense. Why am I living on a street where my neighbors own children? Did my screaming obscenities at them not scare them off or at the very least inform the parents that playing in front of my house is not the best of ideas? Did the flaming Power Ranger catapulted from my garage into the street and missing them by inches go unnoticed? Are the kids so mentally ill that they can�t hear the raging uncontrollable barking coming from my pack of under-fed over-excited rabid-thirsty pit bulls twined in the front yard? And I think I�d have better things to do then stand at my window gazing at a bunch of kids playing kickball. The question just doesn�t make any sense to me whatsoever unless of course it was an extremely hot day and by "kids" they really meant half naked frat boys and by "kickball" they meant drinking games and by "ball rolls into my yard" they meant the frat boys knocked on my door to ask if they could skinny dip in my pool. If that is what they really meant then I would answer "b. Delight in the sweet innocence of children."

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