Thursday, Jun. 26, 2003 - 11:23 a.m.

9:05 a.m. As I sit on my living room sofa completely intoxicated with perky merriment listening to the morning hilarity of Regis and Kelly Ripa Consuelos�s opening banter I wonder what�s the point. How can anyone compare to these two geniuses of captivating chirpiness and gleeful highflying jubilance as they share and bare their soles while recapping the events of last evening in such an expressively jovial manner? I envy the daffy dynamic between Regis and Kelly with each guffaw brilliantly timed and inserted amid relevant and personally insightful details of their lives.

9:12 a.m. Finally a commercial break and a well-needed opportunity for me to relax my smile muscles and catch my breath from all the laughing.

9:14 a.m. I�m in love with Kelly Ripa Consuelos.

9:15 a.m. I�m in love with Regis Philbin.

9:16 a.m. While fantasying about having hot steamy passionate wild three-way love action my visual keeps jumping from Regis and Kelly to Regis and Joy to Kelly and Mark. I almost feel blameworthy not including Gellman in any of the amorous sessions but decide to keep that image for use later in the day.

9:20 a.m. Spent.

9:23 a.m. The commercial break gives me a chance to clean up as I wonder what the gals on The View might be wearing on today�s show.

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