Wednesday, Apr. 30, 2003 - 3:14 p.m.

Saturday � April 26th

3:30 p.m. As my arse landed on my favorite barstool at Bar on 4, with my favorite afternoon bar-hopping drinking associate, Corky, and ordered my first pineapple infused vodka martini from my favorite beefcake bartender, Pony Boy, I told myself this was a good idea even though I didn�t buy it for a second.

6:15 p.m. At home sprawled flat across the couch I seriously contemplated putting a halt to the madness and cancel my plans to meet up with friends for more cocktails. I told myself this was the smart thing to do even though I didn�t sincerely consider it for a second.

9:30 p.m. With arm outstretched awaiting a refill of my margarita glass I observed the pretty boys of Weho packing Tex-Mex restaurant Marix.

10:00 p.m. With arm outstretched awaiting a refill of my margarita glass I gawked at the pretty boys of Weho packed tightly into their little brothers t-shirts.

10:30 p.m. With arm outstretched awaiting a refill of my margarita glass I tried to focus on why I gave a shit about pretty boys.

11:05 p.m. After dropping my margarita glass for the second time my friends thought it best we move on to a different type of club/bar. I told myself that they could do whatever they wanted, I was going straight home even though I didn�t want to for a second.

? a.m. Between fruity-sweet shots of unknown hooch I nurse a vodka cranberry and continue the tedious process of surveying the patrons in an attempt to narrow down my options. Leather chaps and vest dog collar guy would certainly be testing my limits. Khaki button-down collar guy looks like a perpetual virgin. Low-ride ripped jeans w/ wife beater t-shirt guy, too disreputable. Black jeans w/ white t-shirt and open denim shirt guy, truck driver with class. Faded jeans w/ sleeveless blue pocket-t guy would certainly be functional for my purposes. Ironed Gap jeans w/ ironed white t-shirt sensible shoes guy probably too goody goody. Loose fitting unbelted jeans with long sleeve green and blue t-shirt guy has potential for a disturbingly realistic performance.

?? a.m. Somewhere, naked and drinking Evian water out of the bottle my nemesis, Celine Dion, is purged from the radio wailing, "I Drove All Night." Blue jean black polo shirt guy screams out, "Shut that bitch up and get her the fuck off my radio, I�m trying to cum." Like minds.

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