Thursday, Feb. 20, 2003 - 6:01 p.m.

3:45 p.m. After six days and 6 lbs. of blood, sweat and tears I finally finished my application for happiness. However, having to choose a photo to accompany my on-line Internet dating personals profile maybe proving to be too much of a challenge for my current mental state. Although I�ve been able to narrow the hundreds of photos I have of myself down to twenty I admit I�m stymied. My first choice is a photo of me taken, in a leopard thong, by a "friend" whilst learning to snowboard in Aspen last winter. An awesome photo that captures my thrill seeking gregariousness but�due to the chilly temperature and frosty snow it doesn�t appear to emphasize much else. My second choice is a lovely photo of me, clad in a turquoise Speedo, emerging from the Pacific on a recent outing in Malibu. I look amazing after haphazardly shaking the salty water from my hair with my body deeply tanned and glistening in the midday California sunshine but�the ocean is an icy icy body of water. Third choice is a photo taken last week at a clothing optional Palm Springs resort coincidentally known as a haven for out of work adult film stars. A spectacular photo of me sandwiched between two legends of porn, all of us "unconcealed" basking in the hot arid desert sun but�there is typically one very good reason men become performers in X-rated films and I�m a bit shy of comparison.

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