Thursday, Oct. 17, 2002 - 4:31 p.m.

1:10 p.m. Watched TV during lunch. Noticed that daytime television is filled with commercials geared toward the vagina. Most fascinated by vaginal itch. Is this associated with yeast infections or camel toe?

1:16 p.m. Is it me or are there three times as many commercials on during the day? Love the one for winged sanitary napkins with scrubbing bubble strip that turns blue so that you know it�s working

1:28 p.m. Wished I had taped the Lunapads commercial for their washable menstrual pads (mini) to show my assistant, Knoxville.

1:33 p.m. Totally confused by Monistat. Do women know their bodies so well that they distinguish between Monistat-1, Monistat-3 or Monistat-7 instinctively?

1:56 p.m. I feel as I�ve learned a little bit more about the opposite sex today. However, between feminine wipes, tampons, pads, pantiliners, creams, salves, lotions, jellies, lubricants, applicators (disposable and non), inserts, moisturizers, douches, suppositories, foams, ointments and pH balanced body washes my head is reeling and I�m exhausted. How do they do it? Is this something passed down from mother to daughter? Is this knowledge freely accessible on the WE network? Is there closed caption running across the bottom of the TV screen during Oprah? I�d like to know.

2:05 p.m. I�ve decided that every man should have to watch an hour of daytime every month in an attempt to narrow the gender gap, to better know the female psyche, to appreciate the women�s movement and to understand how lucky we are to not have to pamper the penis the way women spoil the snatch, baby the bush, coddle the� Anyway, the point is men get off easy.

2:35 p.m. I wonder who�d win Celebrity Death Match, The Vagina Monologues or Puppetry of the Penis. Hmmm.

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