Tuesday, Jul. 20, 2004 - 11:44 a.m.

9:50 a.m. Being summer and all I thought I�d surprise The Boss and co-workers and arrive at work just twenty minutes late this morning.

10:06 a.m. After making all the necessary polite civilities with underling support staff and mandatory pleasantries with co-workers I entered my office to find The Boss peering under my sofa while in-taking massive gulps of air through his nose.

10:07 a.m. Seeing him on the floor on hands and knees making peculiar and thunderous snortings on the inhale followed by a soprano-pitched wheeze on the exhale reminded me of when I first made his acquaintance at a fetish club in the late eighties. He was easy to spot, being 6�2�, weighing in at just a tad under 300 lbs, dressed in a seam-reinforced cr�me colored one-piece tight-fitting leotard and tights combination (with foot straps), a dainty pink tutu straining against his enormous Santa-like belly, coordinating black leather and silver studded leash, collar, wrist and ankle cuffs and being led by, what looked like, none other than Hollywood Squares� Rose Marie. I remember approaching and asking him, �Hey, if you�re looking for your dignity I think it�s in the other room.� Although Rose Marie and I laughed The Boss didn�t see the humor until I gave a tug to his leash and reassured him, �Dude, I�m just yanking your chain.� When Rose Marie wet herself laughing I was rudely pushed out of the way and to the back of the room by a mob of serious Golden Shower-ites. Later in the evening the three of us became fast friends when they thanked my profusely for their newly found popularity.

10:08 a.m. Paying no mind to the odd activity of searching under the furniture I ask The Boss, �How�s it going?� He responds, �You�re not hiding donuts under here are you?� I reply, �Yeah, but they�re way in the back.� �Really?� he asks excitedly. I tell him, �Nah, I�m just yanking your chain.�

10:09 a.m. After laboring to get to his feet in an attempt of an abrupt departure he barks, �You will never make reference to that again. Understood?� Hanging my head sheepishly I concede, �Yes sir.� And then continue under my breath, � Unless you fire me.�

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