Wednesday, Oct. 09, 2002 - 4:41 p.m.

5:00 a.m. Woke up very early for no reason other than I went to bed very early.

5:15 a.m. As I lay awake I wondered what it would be like to have no arms. I wondered what ranchers do with crippled or deformed cows. Hamburger? I wondered if "Harry" and "Sally" were still together and still in love. I wondered about flu germs, asphalt and how Stone Cold Steve Austin came up with the "Stone Cold" part.

6:10 a.m. When I started wondering about duck down I decided to take the pups for a walk.

6:20 a.m. As we passed by my neighbor, a Road Rules alum, his little wiener dog leapt, teeth ablaze, into the face of my pup Maggie. As I pulled my dog out of harms way I said, "Yikes." Road Rules replied, "Freak" and walked away. I told myself he was speaking to his own dog. His little dog did acted freakishly. Okay, I couldn�t let it go. I said, "Hold up a sec." He didn�t. I said, "Did you just call me a freak or were you talking to your dog?" No response. I tossed in a "Yeah, well�"

10:38 a.m. Was met at the door by my assistant, Knoxville, who was uncharacteristically animated as he proceeded to tell me of a conversation he had with his sister the nurse. It seems she has agreed to give him several syringes of flu serum so that he can administer flu shots to those willing here in the office. At first, I naively thought he was just glad to be able to help out his fellow co-workers but then I came to realize it was the thrill and excitement of personally administering the injection that rocked his world. The joyous impish look on his face as he slowly and methodically explained his technique made me do something I haven�t done in many years, look forward to Monday.

10:46 a.m. Aroused, I head to my computer to check e-mail and play a quick game of Snood before settling in with Casino Solitaire.

1:14 p.m. Went to Jamba Juice hoping to find a pumpkin smoothie. No luck. The Jamba-slinger told me to check back around the 15th.

3:35 p.m. My boss came into my office with his copy of Departures magazine, sat on my couch and laughed and laughed. He asked, "Do you ever read Departures?" "Every month." I replied hoping it was indeed a monthly periodical. "Don�t you just love it?" he mused. "I do, I really do." I said touching the end of my nose to ease my mind that it hadn�t somehow made its way off my face to head across the room to meet its fate.

3:48 p.m. I secretly beg the heavens for him to stop the inane Departures Magazine banter and leave my office. I just cannot muster up another smile for a freebie ad ridden American Express issued rich white man�s pretentious travel magazine.

4:34 p.m. Post my blog before heading home with a headache.

�

previous - next