Wednesday - September 18th, 2002 - 2:08 p.m.

After returning to Los Angeles from Barbados my dear friend and blog mentor, Miss Kitty Bukkake, encouraged me to become a member of Diaryland. Being true to my nature, I procrastinated. Being truer to my nature I registered and reregistered blog names before happily settling on Garloo.

So�here it is. Tada, my first blog entry:

It�s been 35 minutes since I typed the above sentence. Can you actually get "writer�s block" before you are technically a writer? If you can then I did. My therapist is always telling me I can�t relax and just be silent in his office without the heavy feeling of angst and need to perform. It�s happening here. It�s happening now. I feel an overwhelming pressure to write something interesting or at least, minimally amusing.

Why is that? And why are some people just so dang comfortable with themselves. And the worst of it is "those" types are usually extremely attractive and successful and rich and happy (seemingly) and most likely never had teen acne, dammit! Did I fail to mention I can sometimes by obsessive?

Don�t get me wrong. I�m well aware that I�ve already labeled myself as a bitterly obsessively angst ridden therapy goin� procrastinating blogger, but on the flip side I�m the first to admit I�ve got problems like everybody else.

Now may be a good time to introduce myself. You can call my Garloo. You can e-mail me at [email protected]. I�m a single man living in Los Angeles. My friends have never told me that I remind them of Vince Vaughn�s character in "Swingers." Even though for the six months following the release of that film I called everyone "baby" and said that everything was "money." Further insult to injury, I have never been mistaken for Tom Cruise, Brad Pitt, Johnny Depp or the blonde guy from "Felicity." Is it too late to add self-deprecating to the above paragraph?

I have though been mistaken for the guy that throw-up at Dublin�s last St. Patrick�s Day, the guy that peed himself at the Dodger game and been mistaken for the guy with the bad attitude who delivered you a pizza last Saturday night with fresh blood on his shirt. And once and for all, people, it was not me!

Who am I then? I�m the guy who loves reality shows (i.e. Real World; Big Brother; Sorority), loves the concept more than the act of running marathons, loves his two amazingly good dogs, hates his job but loves most of the people he works with, loves spending time and really values his friends, only sees his parents twice a year, doesn�t keep in contact with anyone from high school or college, likes chick flicks, tries to be considerate of other peoples feelings, over spends on everything, can�t keep a secret, will try anything once, can�t eat ice cream as often as I�d like too, has a hard time with confrontation and worried about losing his hair. That�s me. Well, part of me.

Hopefully we�ll both find out more of who I am as the blog entries post.

Good news, I�m done with my first blog entry.

Thanks!

�

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