Wednesday, Oct. 27, 2004 - 12:39 a.m.

6:00 a.m. Sound asleep until the alarm clock blares Lindsay Lohan’s “Rumors.”

6:00:38 a.m. I coarsely blare, “You’ve GOT to be fuckin’ kidding me.”

6:01 a.m. My upstairs neighbor stomps his foot then coarsely blares, “You’ve got to be fuckin’ kidding ME.”

6:01:52 a.m. From somewhere a female voice blares, “SHAT AP, you’ll wakeya fahtha.”

6:03 a.m. Still blaring, still coarsely, “It wasn’t me it was the JEW downstairs.”

6:03:30 a.m. I correctly blare, “I’m NOT Jewish.”

6:04 a.m. Another stomp followed by, “I mean the FAG!”

6:04:18 a.m. I suppose it’s the fahtha that blares, “SHUT UP all of yous.”

6:04:57 a.m. “Ha, I KNEW he was a fag.”

6:05:21 a.m. I mutter, yet still coarsely, to myself, “Oh please, you thought I was Jewish. Oy, my neighbor the brain surgeon.”

6:06:28 a.m. Back sound asleep.

9:46 a.m. I slowly come into consciousness, scratch my head and look at the clock. 9:46, now that’s more like it.

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