Tuesday, Mar. 16, 2004 - 3:24 p.m.

2:43 p.m. Motivated by Standing Room Only’s blog and after weeks of lackadaisical indifference I decide to hunker down and challenge myself to weed through the vast multitudes of e-mail left unrequited.

Dear Garloo,

I love reading your stories. Is any of it true?

Mollymascara

Dear Mollymascara (if that is in fact your real name),

Embellishment is a trait of the South. I am from the West.

Garloo, your blog is like a sweet fix to an addict. Why don’t you write more often?

Dejectedhell

Dear Dejectedhell,

I write constantly. I just don’t always post. I guess I’m afraid you all will become too dependent on my life’s adventures and cease living your own. Also, I like to watch a junkie jones.

Garloo, I can’t believe how much you remind me of Liz Taylor in Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf.

Eatmisery

Dear Eatmisery

Funny, I’ve always pictured myself as "National Velvet" Liz. I do see your point though since I am usually drunk, or well on my way, when I tantrum. However, just so you know, I’m nowhere near as sloppy. Many thanks for your astute comparison.

Garloo,

I’ve read your blog in its entirety. You seem to have such a sad yet malignant spirit. Why?

Gayboi

Dear Gayboi,

Thank you for your concern. As for an answer to your question I can only suggest you skip a circuit party or two, take a break from the crystal, shower, shower again, eat something, shower yet again, watch a minimum of 10 Mary Tyler Moore episodes then with very clean hands re-read my blog.

Hey Garloo,

Are you single?

RipdMusclGuy

Dear RipdMusclGuy,

Send photo.

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