Monday, Apr. 14, 2003 - 5:38 p.m.

1:38 p.m. About half way through lunch with J-Mo and Corky one of them asked, "What else is going on?" I suddenly remembered what had happened to me on Friday and with great pride shared my story:

"You won’t believe what happened to me the other day. As soon as I got home on Friday night I was immediately put in good mood because my cleaning lady, Miss Lupe, had been there and the place look fantastic. And when I went into the bedroom and looked at the freshly made bed I was actually looking forward to crawling in-between the crisp clean sheets. Well anyhow, you’re never guess what happened next. Around ten I went to get into bed and…guess what? There were no sheets on the bed. Miss Lupe had made the bed without the sheets or pillowcases. Can you imagine? What happened was when I had stripped the bed of the old sheets to take to the cleaners that morning I had forgotten to put out the clean set of sheets for Miss Lupe. You can image my shock. I was already to get into bed and there were no sheets. There I was 10 o’clock at night making my own bed."

Cocky was first to respond, "Gee Garloo that story is right up there with the ping pong ball story from "Auntie Mame."

J-Mo followed with, "You put the sheets on the bed all by yourself? Oh my God, doesn’t Frette have an 800 number for those kind of emergencies?"

Cocky, in full mock clenched-Connecticut-top-drawer accent, continued, "Can you imagine no sheets on the bed and the linen closet was locked. The linen closet was locked."

J-Mo, in similar cadence, and Corky continued to make sport of what is now know as my "sheet predicament " for another 30 minutes.

2:51 p.m. It’s not that I mind being the punching bag because I really don’t. It’s more than that. Both Corky and J-Mo are in long-term relationships. They have someone to share with all their mundane trivial day-to-day experiences whether humorous or not, interesting or not, relevant or not, provocative or not, immaterial frivolous insignificant or not. Being single doesn’t afford the luxury of rambling the day’s ups and downs to a built-in recipient willing or not. Being single can be lonely. Being single can be boring. Being single can be isolating. I’m single. I haven’t been single in a very long time and I haven’t been single very long and I’m not complaining about being single because I spent too many years complaining about being in a relationship. However, what I’m finding is that being single does takes getting accustom to.

3:02 p.m. Although I don’t regret sharing my "sheet predicament" I do regret sharing it with the excitement of a preteen bringing his mother’s hidden copy of the Burt Reynolds Cosmopolitan centerfold to his pals in the tree fort for the first time.

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