Friday, Apr. 04, 2003 - 4:36 p.m.

3:51 p.m. When I returned to my office from a quick trip to the Xerox machine I found The Boss resting comfortably on my sofa. He seemed to be lost in thought, which gave me way too much time to wonder as to the nature of today’s lecture. Finally he snaps out of his coma-like state and barks:

The Boss: Garloo, why do you wear your shirt like that? Is it a statement?

Garloo: No, it’s a Brooks Brothers.

The Boss: You know what I mean.

Garloo: No, what do you mean?

The Boss: Why do you have it buttoned that way?

Garloo: What are you talking about?

The Boss: You look like a liberal. Button one more button.

Garloo: Okay. Now what do I look like?

The Boss: You know the gradation?

Garloo: There’s a button gradation?

The Boss: Why yes of course.

Garloo: And it is?

The Boss: Completely button you’re a nerd. One unbuttoned means you’re conservative. Two unbuttoned you’re a liberal. Three Euro-trash. Four white-trash.

Garloo: Wow, you’ve put some thought into this.

The Boss: Nonsense, I’ve put no thought into it whatsoever. It’s simply a tool one can use to assess others.

Garloo: Well thank you for the tutorial.

The Boss: Don’t mention it.

Garloo: That I can’t promise.

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